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Turning Rejection into a New Beginning
Rich Baron • February 11, 2024
Learn to Embrace Rejection as a Powerful Teacher
In addition to being an Executive Coach, I have had the opportunity to work as a volunteer job coach for the past four years in a professional job networking group. This has truly been one of the greatest blessings in my life to work with so many wonderful people.
Above all, my goal as a volunteer job coach is to empower individuals to regain control over their career trajectory and instill a sense of hope for a better future. I believe that everyone deserves to find fulfilling work, and I am grateful for the opportunity to serve others during their time of need. However, one of the issues I see time and again is the fear of rejection.
When job seekers have spent a significant amount of time in their careers or with a specific organization, the fear of rejection can be particularly paralyzing. These individuals may have built up a strong sense of identity and competence within their current role, and the thought of being rejected for a new position can be extremely daunting.
One reason for this fear is the potential for a blow to their self-esteem. After investing years of their lives into a specific career path or organization, being rejected can make them question their abilities and worth. They may fear that a rejection could impact their professional relationships and damage their reputation. The fear of judgment from peers and colleagues can be particularly crippling. It can be a significant barrier to taking the risk of applying for new positions.
Moreover, long-term job seekers may also worry about how their experience and qualifications will be perceived by employers. They may fear that potential employers will view their long tenure in a specific role or company as a negative, implying limited adaptability or a lack of ambition. This fear can be a significant barrier to taking the risk of applying for new positions, seeking new opportunities, or even pursuing growth in a future position or organization.
Frankly, rejection is a universal experience, but what if I told you that beyond that fear lies the key to a bold and courageous life?
Reframing Rejection
As job seekers navigate through the turbulent waters of the job search, they will encounter obstacles and setbacks. Rejection is one of those obstacles that you will inevitably encounter. However, by knowing that rejection is just a temporary visitor. You remind yourself that every failure is an opportunity for learning for improvement.
Rejection can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and our goals. It pushes us to evaluate our actions, beliefs, and approaches, helping us learn from our shortcomings and make necessary adjustments. It encourages us to reflect on what we truly want and what aligns with our values. Through this process, we can gain clarity, resilience, and determination to pursue our dreams.
Rejection can also catalyze personal growth. It invites us to step out of our comfort zone and face our fears. When we confront rejection head-on, we build resilience and develop a stronger sense of self. Each rejection becomes a steppingstone that brings us closer to our goals, as we learn to handle setbacks and push past our own limiting beliefs.
By reframing rejection, we can see it as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Instead of viewing it as a negative judgment of our worth, we can recognize that it simply means that a particular path or person may not be the right fit for us at that moment. This perspective allows us to free ourselves from the fear of rejection's grip and move forward with confidence and resilience.
Rejection can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and our goals. It pushes us to evaluate our actions, beliefs, and approaches, helping us learn from our shortcomings and make necessary adjustments. It encourages us to reflect on what we truly want and what aligns with our values. Through this process, we can gain clarity, resilience, and determination to pursue our dreams.
Additionally, reframing rejection allows us to detach our self-worth from external validation. Instead of seeking approval from others, we focus on cultivating self-acceptance and self-belief. We understand that our worth is not dependent on the opinions or acceptance of others. This shift in perspective empowers us to embrace our authentic selves and pursue what truly fulfills us, regardless of external judgments.
Beyond Rejection
Rejection is a common part of the job search process, but it can be disheartening and challenging to navigate. If there are 250 applicants for a position, 249 will be rejected. However, it's important not to let rejection discourage you from pursuing your career goals. Instead, view it as an opportunity for growth and learning.
Beyond the fear of rejection lies a world full of untapped potential. Each rejection you overcome brings you closer to the person you aspire to be. You meet new people, explore new ideas, and discover hidden talents within yourself. It is in the face of fear that you uncover your true capabilities.
Let’s look at some of the tools you can use to rid yourself of the fear of rejection and find that untapped potential.
1. Practice Self-Empathy
- I am not talking about feeling sorry for yourself, self-empathy is not the same as self-compassion. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you’d show to a good friend. Self-empathy simply requires you to notice and recognize what is happening in you. Take the time to feel the emotions that arise, whether they are anger, sadness, or pain. Know that it is okay to experience these emotions and know they will not last forever, and then take action to recognize rejection for what it is and move on (a special thank you to my niece, Brittney, for reminding me that taking the time to grieve and reflect is necessary to clear the air and move forward).
2. Shift Your Mindset
- One of the first steps in conquering the fear of rejection is to shift your mindset. Instead of seeing rejection as a personal failure or a reflection of our worth, we can view it as a life lesson in success. Every rejection is simply a redirection towards something better suited for us.
3. Push Beyond Your Comfort Zone
- Life truly begins at the end of our comfort zones. For many, this is difficult and frightening to comprehend. However, when you take a deep breath and leap into the unknown, leaving behind the safety of what you once knew, the ground disappears beneath you, and a newfound freedom envelops your spirit. The fear of rejection may still linger, but now it is intertwined with hope and the possibility of growth. As you continue to push beyond your comfort zone, you begin to see the world from a different perspective. The once intimidating aspect of your job search now becomes less daunting, and the fear of rejection starts to lose its power to intimidate.
4. Fight Rejection with Resilience
- Another powerful tool in overcoming the fear of rejection is resilience. Rejection and failure are inevitable in life, no matter how talented or likable we may be. By developing resilience, we bounce back from rejection stronger and more determined than ever before. We embrace failure as a crucial part of the journey and view each rejection as an opportunity to grow. With each rejection, you become more resilient and better equipped to face the next hurdle. You learn to refine your approach, to adapt and adjust. You realize that failure is not an indication of your worth or abilities but rather a crucial step towards a stronger version of yourself.
5. Cultivate Self-Confidence and Self-Worth
- By recognizing and valuing our unique strengths and abilities, we build a solid foundation of self-assurance. Do not become stagnant during your job search but rather continuously challenge yourself to learn and grow. This can be through acquiring new skills, seeking new knowledge, or pushing yourself to take on new and exciting opportunities. The more you invest in your personal growth, the stronger your self-confidence and self-worth will become. This inner strength allows us to weather the storms of rejection, knowing that we can achieve greatness.
6. Perseverance and Grit
- I emphasize the importance of perseverance and resilience (grit) in the face of any challenge in our lives. The job search can be a long and arduous journey, and individuals need to maintain their motivation and continue putting in the effort. Provide yourself with strategies to stay organized, track progress, and don’t forget to celebrate small victories along the way to keep the momentum going. Set realistic goals and challenge yourself every day to be better than you were yesterday. Most importantly, do not ever give up on yourself as this may be the most important learning experience in your life. Embrace the time you have to improve.
7. Inventory Your Unique Skills and Talents
- I help those I work with in their job search to recognize their unique skills, strengths, and accomplishments, and teach them how to effectively communicate these qualities to potential employers. I challenge them to take a personal inventory of their unique skills and talents by writing them down using pen and paper, not on a computer or tablet. skills and talents truly This is not a resume, but rather a brain dump that allows you to take a deep look at how valuable you are. By highlighting your unique achievements, skills, and talents, rejection then becomes viewed as a temporary setback rather than a personal failure.
8. Surround Yourself with a Support Group
- It is essential to surround ourselves with a supportive network of friends, family, and mentors. These individuals can provide comfort, guidance, and encouragement when we face rejection. Their belief in us can help us push through our fears and continue pursuing our dreams. There are few times in life that you will feel as much stress as during a job search. Being surrounded by those who truly care for you and want to see you succeed can truly dampen the impact of rejection. Most importantly, if you feel that you are struggling more than you feel you are capable of, your support group can be there to help you see the light of day.
Wrapping Up
So, dear reader, embrace the fear of rejection. See it as a catalyst for growth and transformation. Take that leap off the metaphorical cliff and dive into the unknown. Beyond fear lies a world full of possibilities, waiting to be explored by those courageous enough to embrace rejection as a part of the journey towards the next best version of yourself.
Let us dive into the unknown, hand in hand, supporting each other as we explore the empowering journey beyond fear. Together, we will rise above the stormy sea, embracing rejection as a catalyst for growth and becoming the architects of our destinies. Life truly begins when we can face our fears, accept that rejection is part of life, and realize that it is through rejection that we grow, learn, and ultimately live a more fulfilling and authentic life.
Reach out to me
and let's talk about your job search.
This blog is dedicated to all of the job seekers that I have been honored to be part of their lives. I have been blessed by each of you and have learned so many powerful life lessons. Thank you!
About the Author
Rich Baron holds the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach at John Mattone Global. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Together with his coaching partner, Maikel Bailey, Rich hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023, and again in 2024 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 60 countries and 550 cities across the globe.
If the years since the pandemic are any indication of what we can expect in this ever-changing business world, leadership needs to be stronger than ever. With rapid changes in business worldwide, the leadership skills we need are changing. Strong, versatile leaders are needed to face the challenges we will inevitably see - leaders who can adapt, strategize, and motivate their teams through complex situations. However, studies show that organizations and leaders alike are far from prepared to combat these challenges. What Do The Studies Show According to the Bersin by Deloitte report High-Impact Leadership Development , organizations with stronger “leadership maturity” are 11 times more likely to have a high number of leaders who can build talent for competitive advantage. And they’re 7 times more likely to have a high number of leaders who can inspire people to follow them. Unfortunately, the report also found that capable leadership talent is very rare. Only 60% of leaders in organizations show commercial acumen and business judgment; 48% are seen as driving change and innovation; and only 44% build talent for competitive advantage. Regarding rare leadership talent, in a study conducted by Kaiser Leadership Solutions , using a 360-degree instrument called the Leadership Versatility Index, they assessed over 24,000 senior managers from a variety of industries around the world. The results showed that less than 10% of the leaders in this study had the versatility and timing to be effective leaders. That means that more than 21,000 of the leaders studied do not have the versatility and timing to be truly effective in reading and responding to change with a wide repertoire of complementary skills and behaviors. Despite the studies that show that leadership skills and development are lacking, there has been a disturbing trend in organizations cutting L&D budgets and individual leaders putting the brakes on their own development. Or worse yet, ignoring the importance of leadership development altogether. A Short-Sighted Approach This lack of investment in leadership development is a short-sighted approach that ultimately hurts both the individual leaders and the organization. Effective leadership is crucial for the success of any organization, as leaders set the tone for the rest of the team and drive the company toward its goals. Additionally, in today's rapidly changing business landscape, it is more important than ever for leaders to be adaptable, agile, and able to navigate uncertainty and change. Investing in leadership development is key to ensuring that leaders have the skills and knowledge needed to thrive in this environment. Organizations must prioritize leadership development and allocate the necessary resources to support the growth and success of their leaders. By investing in leadership development, organizations can create a culture of continuous learning and improvement, drive innovation and growth, and ultimately, achieve sustainable success in the long run. Without ongoing development and training, leaders can stagnate in their skills and become less effective in their roles. This can lead to decreased employee engagement, lower productivity, and ultimately, a negative impact on the bottom line. Hitting the Pause Button Simply put, businesses and leaders are falling behind in preparing for the upcoming business challenges they will certainly face. This fact was shown in another leadership development survey of almost 18,000 human resource professionals and business leaders from around the world. The findings showed that 83% believe it is critical to the success of their organizations to develop leaders at all levels. Despite this, less than 5% of businesses have integrated leadership development at all levels. According to the Global Leadership Forecast 2021, “fewer than half of leaders feel they are effective in leadership skills that will be most critical for future success. This means that strong, versatile leaders are not being developed and prepared for future business challenges. As an executive coach, the most disturbing trend that I have seen in organizations, and individual leaders alike, is pumping the brakes on leadership development. Many of the excuses I have heard are that the L&D budget was cut, or we plan on revisiting leadership training next year, or my personal favorites, we are too busy to focus on that right now, or we simply don't have the time. With all the issues in poor employee retention, lack of leadership pipelines, poor talent selection, toxic bosses, and failing organizational culture (which is a direct result of poor leadership), it is no wonder you don't have the time. More than likely your time is now being spent chasing the tiger by the tail, putting out fires, and trying to keep your head above water. So, a quick question, do you think your excuses will help solve the problems? Or perhaps employing the age-old wisdom that if we just ignore it, it will go away. The trend of cutting L&D budgets was a concern even before 2024. In February 2023, we featured an episode on our podcast, Mainline Executive Coaching ACT, entitled, "Dear Employees, Your Budget Has Been Cut." It has been downloaded and listened to in over 70 countries and 750 cities worldwide and is still our top downloaded episode with continued daily downloads to this date. This goes to show that this is not just a concern for organizations in the United States, but globally as well. Quite frankly, this is an urgent situation that needs to change. Versatility Will Be The Key The need for leadership development is greater than ever. Over the past three years, business dynamics have shifted so dramatically, that the moment to maximize the benefits of strong and equipped leaders is now. Versatility in leadership skills is the master capability for leading in a VUCA world — that is, one characterized by volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. Versatility is, "the ability to read and respond to change with a wide repertoire of complementary skills and behaviors." For instance, some circumstances call for leaders to take charge, force difficult issues, and make tough decisions, while others require leaders to enable, support, and include people. Similarly, organizations sometimes need leaders to focus on their future strategic direction and at other times to focus on day-to-day operations and execution. Versatile leaders can seamlessly move between opposing behaviors. They can step up and make a call just as easily as they can bring people together to make group decisions. They can read the room and adjust their behavior accordingly, from asking questions and listening with an open mind to driving the team to achieve success. They can also envision change in big-picture terms and focus on the tactical details of implementing change. Versatile leaders can read the business, from playing out the chessboard five moves ahead to making the next move swiftly and with precision. Focusing on the Future It is time to stop pausing or ignoring leadership development altogether, or worse, simply putting someone in a leadership role because they are strong individual contributors in their jobs. The ripple effects of poor leadership have resulted in skyrocketing turnover rates, poor customer retention, disengaged employees, and high costs associated with replacing the employees who left. To be successful and competitive in the future, developing versatile, strong leaders is imperative. Organizations that value leadership development with a focus on building a strong leadership pipeline full of well-trained, versatile leaders will inevitably see greater innovation, stronger financial performance, highly engaged employees, and strong employee retention. Going forward, organizations and individuals alike need to engage or reengage in leadership development. However, do not make the mistake of bringing back leadership training that the company invested in 10 years ago. Or worse yet, relying on someone in the organization who participated in those programs in the past to take on the task of leadership development today. The days of marathon seminars focused on a particular leadership skill are in the past. Quite frankly, they did not work then, and certainly will not work now. A Training Evolution Leadership training has evolved and executive coaching is the sturdy bridge that connects individual leadership effectiveness with outstanding organizational performance . It can help organizations attract and retain exceptional leaders and help executive teams to improve their performance. In addition, online coaching platforms that feature ongoing, bite-sized, dynamic, and hybrid training sessions with accompanying implementation tools coupled with one-on-one coaching have proved to be very effective. Intelligent Leadership Online Academy (ILOA) which was created during the pandemic by the world's top executive coach, John Mattone is one such platform that is trusted and respected by the top executives and technologists at some of the world's top companies. Wrapping Up Today's leaders need more proficiency than ever before. No one knows what our disruptive world will throw at leaders next. However, if the past three years are any indication of what lies ahead, organizations and individuals must be prepared to face those challenges. Those organizations with strong, versatile leaders who possess a wide and balanced repertoire of complementary competencies, skills, and behaviors, combined with the wisdom to know which one to use in a given situation, are likely to be most effective at leading their people, teams, and organizations through the turbulence. And we know that this meta-competency — versatility — can be learned, coached, and developed. Reach out to me here to find out more about executive coaching, and ILOA. Or schedule time with me here for a discussion on how your future and the future of your organization can look. About the Author Rich Baron holds the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach at John Mattone Global. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Together with his coaching partner, Maikel Bailey, Rich hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023, and again in 2024 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 60 countries and 550 cities across the globe.
With Thanksgiving approaching in the United States, it’s a perfect time to reflect on the values that enrich our lives, no matter where we call home. Leadership, in particular, holds a unique power to shape our communities, organizations, and personal growth. In this blog, I want to celebrate the transformative nature of leadership, express gratitude for its impact, and honor the remarkable leaders who inspire and guide us. Here are a few ways leaders can express gratitude and show appreciation to the people who make a difference in their lives. Visionaries Who Inspire Leadership often begins with a clear vision. We are grateful for the visionary leaders who inspire us to dream big, challenge the status quo, and defy conventional wisdom. These trailblazers ignite passion and propel us toward a future that seemed unreachable before. Their visionary approach gives us hope and motivation to achieve more. Empathetic Guides Possessing empathy and understanding is a hallmark of exceptional leadership. Thanksgiving reminds us to appreciate the leaders who genuinely care about their team members' well-being. They create an environment that fosters collaboration, empathy, and open communication. These leaders go the extra mile to understand the needs of their team and provide the necessary support, enabling individuals to flourish both personally and professionally. Leading by Example Leaders play a crucial role in creating a positive and appreciative culture within their teams. By expressing gratitude, both publicly and privately, towards their employees, leaders can inspire their team members to reciprocate and appreciate one another's efforts as well. This creates a cycle of appreciation and gratitude within the team, which, in turn, creates a sense of trust and loyalty within the team. When employees feel appreciated by their leaders, they trust that their efforts are valued and recognized. This trust fosters a positive work environment where team members feel comfortable and supported. Be Thankful for Your Team As a leader, it is important to recognize and accept that you cannot be an expert at everything. No one can possess all the skills and knowledge required for every task or project. Instead, it is crucial to identify the gaps and seek out individuals who have the talent and passion to excel in those areas. When you surround yourself with talented individuals, each specializing in their respective fields, you create a dynamic team that can tackle challenges effectively and produce exceptional outcomes. Be thankful for those people on your team who bring their best every day. Their expertise and passion will bring new perspectives, innovative ideas, and a high level of proficiency to the table. Be Thankful You are a Leader Being a leader is indeed a privilege, as it allows leaders to have a direct impact on the future and success of their followers. For this reason, we must all learn to be servant leaders. By adopting a servant leadership approach, the leader takes on the responsibilities of a coach, mentor, and enabler. They guide and support their team members, helping them to develop their skills and achieve their goals. The focus is on empowering others and creating an environment where everyone can thrive. The beauty of servant leadership lies in the fact that when leaders prioritize the success of their team, they ultimately find success themselves. By investing in the growth and development of their followers, leaders cultivate a motivated and engaged team that produces outstanding results. This is something that every leader can truly be thankful for. Wrapping Up As leaders, this is a wonderful time of year to be thankful and to begin the habit of saying, "Thank You," so you can say it all year. Saying those two powerful words can mean the world to those on your team who have worked hard and deserve your admiration and sincere gratitude. The simple act of expressing your thankfulness and gratitude with these two simple words will ensure your team feels recognized and appreciated for their work. When we strive to be true servant leaders throughout the year we have the opportunity to instill worth in all those people around us. For this reason, leadership is not just a privilege to be thankful for, but a calling all leaders have the responsibility to live up to. As we celebrate this season of Thanksgiving—a time to express gratitude for the blessings in our lives—let us also extend this spirit of thankfulness to our superiors, colleagues, clients, customers, and all who support our professional journey. As Thanksgiving gives way to the rest of the holiday season, let’s strive to carry this attitude of gratitude into our daily lives, embracing it fully in our roles as leaders and managers. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who are reading this. I am truly thankful for your support and wish you all the best! About the Author Rich Baron is the Director of Culture Transformation and Certification as well as a Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach at John Mattone Global. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Rich hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023, and 2024 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 70 countries and 750 cities across the globe.
