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Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

Rich Baron • January 12, 2024

As a leader, it’s especially important that you find a way to overcome such beliefs

Many of us struggle with limiting beliefs and do not realize it until someone brings it to our attention. Once we notice them, it’s important we face them — limiting beliefs narrow your scope of vision for the life you have the potential to lead. They may sound something like, “I’m not cut out for that promotion,” or, “I’m definitely not talented enough to accomplish that.” Your thoughts might sound different depending on the area you’re struggling with, but at the end of the day, the overarching message of limiting beliefs is the same: I’m not good enough to accomplish my goal.

Limiting beliefs make it near impossible to try something spontaneous or something "big" without a negative voice in your head saying something like, "Hold on there, Not so fast!"

How many times have we told ourselves these following statements:
  • I can't do that
  • I shouldn't apply for that job because I am not good enough
  • I tried once and it didn't work
  • I am just not smart enough
  • I didn't go to a blue-chip school
  • It's too late to pursue my dreams
  • Those people are better than me
  • My boss told me I shouldn't try because I am not good enough
  • I am not a great leader
Do any of these sound familiar? These sentences come from a fixed mindset—with all the conviction of beliefs that someone may have been holding on to since they were in their youth. 

Where Do Limiting Beliefs Start
Many of our limiting beliefs come from experiences that are often laced with shame, embarrassment, or fear. Once we "decide" we are not good at something, we might also decide we are not good at anything related such as sports, art, leading others, the list goes on.

More often than not, this is the case — a huge limiting belief can be formed in a moment, or through several small moments that culminate into a belief you carry throughout adulthood. For example, a high school teacher may have given bad feedback on a writing project and then told them to focus their energy on other subjects. 

As an executive coach, I often run into this problem with clients who have at one time or another in their career been put down on a project, or been told their idea was frivolous. In hindsight, it might be easy to brush off such a thing, but if you never take the time to discover and challenge the root of the belief, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to be free of it.

As a leader, you must find a way to overcome such beliefs — an important part of being an effective leader is seeing the unlimited potential in your employees, and how can you do that if you cannot see your own potential?

Changing Perspectives – Getting a Different Point of View
Getting stuck in a limiting belief can happen because we are stuck in the way we view that limiting belief, which then limits our thinking and actions (a fixed mindset). That is to say, we are not fully aware of our limiting beliefs. We see that limiting beliefs restrict our ability to see ourselves honestly and objectively. We tell ourselves, that’s just the way it is or how I am. Often, we lose our ability to be objective and see ourselves separate from our limiting beliefs. We falsely believe that we and the limiting belief are the same.
 
Stated another way, we create limiting beliefs in such a way that the limiting belief defines and restricts our resourcefulness. Those beliefs limit our ingenuity, curtail our power to act, and even our ability to deal with our limiting beliefs. When we require more power and determination – grit (perseverance and diligence) – those are the very traits we believe we don’t have enough of, which then keeps us from making the desired change. With these self-limiting actions, we then justify not taking effective action, i.e., exercising enough faith to overcome the limiting belief. Another way to view this is that we have inadvertently wired our brains so that it is hard, maybe very difficult, to see ourselves and this limiting belief in any other way, whether intellectual, emotional, or physical. The result is that we innocently victimize ourselves with this limiting belief allowing it to control us rather than us being in control.

First Things First
The first step in overcoming limiting beliefs is recognizing and acknowledging them. Your first instinct might be to push down on them as they arise, but this will not stop them from occurring again and again. Once you take the time to recognize and acknowledge that limiting belief, you can begin the journey to overcoming it.

The next step is to look for the root of the limiting belief. For example, let’s imagine the marketing team asks an executive for their input on a new campaign they’re putting together for the company. The executive immediately responds, “Oh, I won’t be able to help. I’m not creative at all.”

However, due to the nature of some of our more inhibiting limiting beliefs, shaking them off is not a one-step process. Some of these negative thoughts are so deeply ingrained, that they feel impossible to overcome. In fact, we might be really resistant to changing this part of our identity. 
Some of our limiting beliefs might also be part of our core beliefs. 

If your belief is rooted in an anecdotal story that is 20 years old, if it's a barrier to the next step you'd like to take, or if it's something that just seems pretty scary, try to uproot it.

Ask yourself these questions:
  • Is my limiting belief closer to fact or closer to an excuse?
  • Is my limited belief rooted in fear, or specifically, fear of rejection?
  • Did I decide on my own limiting belief or did someone else assign it?
  • Would my life be better without this limiting belief? Imagine how. 
  • What are new beliefs that I can replace my most limiting beliefs with? How would that feel?
Wrapping Up
We all have limiting beliefs of one kind or another. Some we see, and with others, we seem to be blind. For example, has a spouse, family member, or close friend told you something about yourself that surprised you or you found hard to believe, something that might be considered a negative trait? Perhaps that you should be more patient, less of a know-it-all, more confident, less critical of others, less complaining or blaming, less demanding, or not so hard on yourself. Or was it something else?

The point is that none of us are perfect. We all have work to do. However, in order to change, you must replace your limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs. This is easier to do when you’ve discovered the root of the problem and can come up with appropriate counterbeliefs. 

Remember the example, once that executive discovers the root of their problem, it will be easier for them to say, “Well, no — actually, I have creative ideas all the time. The last time I led a campaign, I knocked it out of the park. I can do this.” 

If you want to learn more about limiting beliefs and how executive coaching can help you, contact me and let's talk.

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About the Authors
Rich Baron and Maikel Bailey hold the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach. With a wealth of combined expertise spanning over 50 years, they excel in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Together, they host "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 60 countries and 550 cities across the globe.
By Rich Baron January 28, 2025
Since the official recognition of Mount Everest as the world's tallest peak, it has become a significant fascination for mountaineers. For many decades, there has been ongoing debate regarding the possibility of successfully reaching its summit. The earliest documented evidence of a climber considering the feasibility of scaling Everest dates back to 1885. It wasn't until 1924 that the first real attempt at the summit was made on the 29,032-foot tall mountain that mountaineers around the globe realized that it might be possible to stand at the top of the world. There were several attempts after this time but it wasn't until 1953 when Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hillary finally stood on the summit that the world realized that Everest had finally been conquered. I had the privilege in my early twenties to meet Dick Bass who was the founder and owner of Snowbird Ski Resort in Utah, and the oldest person, at that time, to reach the summit of Mount Everest at age 55. I was in awe to be talking with not only the owner of one of my favorite ski resorts but someone who had stood where only the bravest and most skilled climbers in the world could lay claim. Fast forward to recent years and Mount Everest has been transformed into a tourist destination, where long queues at the summit surpass even those at Disneyworld. With sufficient funds to hire a guide and a moderate level of climbing experience, anyone can now aspire to reach an altitude comparable to that of a cruising 747 Jumbo Jet. The ability to be recognized as one of the elite climbers in the world has been reduced to the limit of your patience to stand in long lines and the depths of your wallet. However, do not be fooled by the lure of adventure that Mt. Everest holds, it is not for the faint of heart or the unprepared. The Death Zone Tragically, the number of fatalities in the pursuit of conquering the world's highest peak has surpassed 300, with the remains of over 200 climbers still resting on the mountain. Each of these individuals was once driven by a strong desire to stand atop the world. Climbers understand a fundamental rule: reaching the summit is merely the initial half of the journey, and true congratulations are only warranted upon safely returning to base camp. However, the harsh reality is that the majority of deaths occur during the descent after the climbers have successfully reached the summit. This sobering fact underscores the immense challenges and risks involved in this perilous endeavor. Why is this the case? The climbers have a strong desire to reach the highest point on Earth and they devote a significant amount of money and time to their endeavor. They spend up to two months on the mountain, moving between camps and adjusting to the high altitude. However, the time frame for climbing is limited, so time management becomes crucial. Once they reach the death zone, which is above 8,000 meters (26,000 ft), they cannot stay for long due to the harsh conditions. When they are only a few hours away from reaching the summit, many push themselves beyond their physical and mental limits to achieve their goal of standing at the top, even if it's just for a brief moment. Unfortunately, this is where many climbers encounter serious problems. Once the climbers find themselves deep within the death zone, their ability to concentrate on safely descending becomes increasingly difficult. The lack of oxygen impairs their balance and cognitive function, while frostbite can lead to a loss of coordination. This makes it challenging to distinguish between altitude sickness, cold-related injuries, and sheer exhaustion. Unfortunately, any of these conditions can leave a climber stranded, resulting in death from exposure. In these situations, not only is the individual at risk, but their team is also put in danger. Given the extreme nature of climbing at such altitudes, climbers may be forced to make the heart-wrenching decision to leave a fellow climber behind. This is a decision that professional climbers understand and are prepared to make, even though it comes with great emotional turmoil. The presence of long queues at the summit has intensified the very real possibility of never making it out of the death zone. In 2019, a highly experienced climber from Utah finally fulfilled his 40-year ambition of reaching the summit of Mt. Everest. This individual, much like Dick Bass before him, had previously conquered numerous other towering peaks around the world. Upon reaching the summit, he contacted his wife to share the exciting news. Tragically, moments later, he suffered a heart attack and collapsed. Despite the efforts of his guides to bring him down the mountain, the long queues of approximately 300 climbers still striving to reach the summit hindered their progress. Regrettably, his guides were compelled to leave him behind as his final resting spot lies just off the trail near the top of the summit. This incident serves as a poignant reminder that even individuals with extensive experience and a strong support system can encounter unforeseen challenges. It is a stark example of how devastating the consequences can be, especially for those who are ill-prepared, lack adequate support, or choose to disregard their readiness and attempt to reach the summit hastily and prematurely. It underscores the importance of thorough preparation, recognizing one's limitations, and respecting the risks involved to ensure safety during such arduous undertakings. Applying this to Leadership How does this relate to leadership? When we neglect to invest time and effort in developing and refining our skills, planning, preparing for the future, and executing tasks, the consequences can be severe. As an executive coach, I often observe the same pattern among individuals who attempt to expedite their leadership aspirations at an unreasonable pace. In today's society, there is a prevalent desire for instant job satisfaction, a rapid path to achieving prestigious titles, wealth, and the corner office. We have been deceived into believing that attaining a high-ranking position automatically grants us recognition, power (although it should be noted as presumed), and the accompanying benefits that we erroneously associate with it. This cycle often leads individuals to be oblivious to the reality of their situation. Consequently, they experience burnout, stress, underperformance, high turnover rates within their team, and ultimately, a mediocre career. Nonetheless, this could have been prevented by dedicating time to honing leadership skills, being patient with the learning process, and properly planning for the future. By doing so, leaders can ensure long-term effectiveness in their careers. Promoting too early Organizations can unintentionally contribute to the failure of emerging leaders by prematurely promoting individuals who excel in individual contributor roles into leadership positions. It is essential to thoroughly prepare someone before placing them in a leadership role to avoid potential difficulties. If there are indications that a person may not yet be ready for leadership, there are ways to address these concerns. These include offering educational opportunities, providing mentors, and giving them access to additional resources. It is also crucial to have strategies in place to minimize any negative impacts and ensure the success of both current and future leaders. It is crucial to recognize that not everyone possesses the necessary qualities for a leadership position. Employing effective programs like the Intelligent Leadership Online Academy (ILOA) can help identify employees with the potential and ambition to become leaders. Simply assuming that someone who excels in their current role will automatically excel as a leader is irresponsible and lacks foresight. How to ensure readiness for leadership roles Many aspiring leaders, and organizations alike, often wonder how to properly prepare for the challenges they will face in leadership positions. Here are some ways to effectively prepare for the challenges that leaders will surely face: Work with an Executive Coach. Executive Coaches are necessary because leaders are necessary. Continually focus on learning and personal development of leadership talents. Developing strong communication and interpersonal skills are examples of crucial skills needed for effective leadership. Actively engage in leadership training programs, workshops, and seminars that focus on the areas where you need the most development. Improve your knowledge base by reading books and articles on leadership topics. Actively seek mentorship from seasoned leaders. Join professional networking groups that can provide valuable insights and connections with experienced leaders. Maintain a positive attitude, learn from mistakes, be open to feedback, and step outside of your comfort zone. By actively working on self-improvement and taking proactive steps to develop necessary skills, aspiring leaders can set themselves up for success in any leadership position. Wrapping up Leaders, much like individuals climbing Mount Everest, can sometimes be caught off guard by the demands of their role until they are fully immersed in it. The responsibilities and pressures placed on leaders are immense, often expecting immediate performance. These are skills that are not always taught in educational or professional settings, and they require a personalized approach that an executive coach can provide. Failing to prepare for the expectations of leadership can be a major reason why many individuals struggle in such positions, similar to climbers who face disappointment after getting close to the summit. I hope this discussion has underscored the importance of readiness for a leadership role. In addition, organizations must recognize the need for investment in their leaders to fully unlock their potential and set them up for success in their careers. I hold exceptional, disciplined leaders in high regard, much like those courageous adventurers who were well-prepared and understood the risks associated with reaching the pinnacle of the world. About the Author Rich Baron serves as the Chief Operating Officer and Director of the Global Coaching Project at John Mattone Global, where he also holds the title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach. With over 30 years of rich experience in cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive roles, and coaching leaders at every level—from emerging talents to seasoned CEOs—Rich has a demonstrated track record of success. Rich co-hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast that is recognized by Feedspot as the leading Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. The podcast's acclaim is based on an evaluation of numerous factors, including web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. It boasts an impressive following in more than 80 countries and over 830 cities globally.
By Rich Baron December 20, 2024
The First World War, occurring from 1914 to 1918, brought unprecedented destruction and violence. The impact of the First World War, in particular, forever transformed the nature of war. This conflict witnessed the deliberate targeting of civilians, the widespread use of chemical weapons, and the introduction of mechanized warfare on a large scale. The death toll reached a staggering 22 million people, with some accounts putting the toll closer to 37 million. However, amidst the chaos and brutality of the First World War, a brief and remarkable moment of peace unfolded on Christmas Day in 1914. It Will Be Over by Christmas Many of the 60 million soldiers sent to fight in the First World War were told that the war would be over by Christmas—a promise that turned out to be yet another falsehood in a conflict plagued with deception and misinformation. After war was declared in July 1914, it became clear by Christmas of that year that there was no end in sight. The Western Front was dotted with trenches, where millions of soldiers were packed together, enduring freezing conditions. Many of these soldiers were astonishingly close to their enemies, with the British and German trenches sometimes separated by a mere 30 meters. According to Daniel Coyle in his best-selling book “The Culture Code”, soldiers on both sides, because of proximity to each other, started noticing shared patterns of behavior and routines of cooking, re-supply, and troop rotations. Deepening the connection was the realization that both sides were enduring the same terror and stress of harsh conditions. On the late hours of Christmas Eve, German troops started opening gifts that they had received from home, including Christmas trees adorned with candles. The soldiers lit their lanterns and placed them along the edges of their trenches, creating a warm and festive atmosphere. As the candles flickered, the sound of carol singing resonated through the air. A Personal Account Bruce Bairnsfather, a British machine gunner who would later become a well-known cartoonist, vividly described the scene in his memoirs. Like his fellow infantrymen from the 1st Battalion of the Royal Warwickshire Regiment, Bairnsfather spent Christmas Eve shivering in the muddy trenches, desperately trying to keep warm. Having fought against the Germans for the past few months, he found himself in the Bois de Ploegsteert region of Belgium. In this unforgiving environment, Bairnsfather, cramped in a trench only three feet deep and three feet wide, faced constant sleeplessness and fear. His days and nights were filled with the repetitive cycle of anxiety, surviving on stale biscuits and cigarettes too damp to light. At about 10 p.m., Bairnsfather noticed a noise. “I listened,” he recalled. The Germans were singing carols, as it was Christmas Eve. The British soldiers in the trenches joined in by singing back. Amid this peaceful moment, a surprising occurrence unfolded. Bairnsfather and his comrades heard a bewildered shouting from the German side, causing them to pause and listen intently. The voice belonged to an enemy soldier who spoke English with a distinct German accent, calling out, "Come over here." In a remarkable turn of events, the British and French troops, inspired by the Germans, also participated in the Christmas truce. Fear and suspicion were set aside as soldiers began to exchange greetings and well-wishes between the trenches. Offers for a temporary ceasefire were communicated and accepted. With the dawn of Christmas morning, soldiers cautiously stepped out into no man's land. They greeted one another and engaged in an awe-inspiring display of humanity. Messages and gifts were shared as soldiers from opposing sides momentarily set aside their enmity. In some areas, caps and jackets were repurposed as goalposts, leading to impromptu and joyful football matches. It is even said that the Germans emerged victorious in one of these games with a final score of 3-2. Another British soldier, named John Ferguson, recalled it this way: “Here we were laughing and chatting to men whom only a few hours before we were trying to kill!” The temporary cessation of fighting continued in certain areas until the arrival of the New Year, but ultimately, the pause proved to be brief and the peace was short-lived. Although there were several other instances of similar truces during the war, none were as widespread or significant as the Christmas truce of 1914. Disapproval from Senior Leaders As expected, certain high-ranking officers on both sides viewed the Christmas Truce with disapproval. They issued orders explicitly forbidding any association with the enemy and warned of potential punishments for those who disobeyed, even execution for cowardice by firing squad for those who attempted to start another truce. However, the soldiers, who were already weary from the war (unaware of the years of continued fighting ahead), chose to take matters into their own hands. They defied the orders and acted independently to establish moments of peace, albeit temporary, amidst the turmoil of war. In an alternate account, it is reported that a German soldier named Adolf Hitler reprimanded his comrades during the Christmas Truce, expressing his disapproval by stating, "Such a thing should not happen in wartime. Have you no German sense of honor left?" Hitler, who was 25 years old at the time, conveyed his disdain for the temporary ceasefire. What Can We Learn as Leaders If enemies on the battle lines can create a culture of safety, respect, and belonging even during war, it suggests that similar conditions can be replicated within organizations. And indeed, there are ways to achieve this. According to Coyle, organizations that foster a strong sense of belonging can address the following questions to ensure a positive response from employees: 1. Are we connected? - Encourage open communication and collaboration among team members. - Foster a sense of unity and shared purpose. 2. Do we share a future? - Clearly, and often, communicate the organization's vision, mission, and goals. - Involve employees in decision-making processes to create a sense of ownership and shared commitment. 3. Are we safe? - Promote a culture of psychological safety where employees completely trust that the organization is a safe place to give 100% while expressing their opinions and taking risks. - Establish policies and practices that prioritize employee well-being and physical safety. To ensure a resounding "YES" to these questions, it is crucial to clearly and consistently communicate the organization's vision, mission, and goals. This can be achieved by: Communicate the purpose: An effective approach to communicate your organization's purpose is by using concise messaging throughout. Avoid using overly complex statements that potential employees may struggle to understand or feel apprehensive about living up to. Articulating the vision: Communicate the long-term aspirations and purpose of the organization. This overarching vision should inspire and provide a sense of direction for all employees. And that they are a crucial part of achieving the vision. Define the mission: Clearly define the organization's mission statement, which outlines its core purpose, main activities, and the value it delivers to its stakeholders. Regularly reinforce this mission to remind employees of the organization's primary focus. My Key Takeaways The Christmas Truce offers valuable lessons about leadership and culture that can be applied in various contexts. Although this event took place over 100 years ago, the lessons we must learn from those brave soldiers are still relevant today. So here are a few of my thoughts and key takeaways: 1. Leaders Set the Tone: The temporary ceasefire during the Christmas Truce was driven by individual soldiers who took the initiative to establish peace. This highlights the importance of leaders setting the right tone and creating an environment that encourages positive actions and behaviors. 2. Humanize the "Enemy": The soldiers involved in the truce showed empathy and compassion towards their supposed enemies. This serves as a powerful reminder that seeing the humanity in others, even in challenging circumstances, can foster understanding and connection. 3. Facilitate Connection and Communication: The Christmas Truce exemplified the power of connection and communication across divides. Leaders should create opportunities for open dialogue, collaboration, and relationship building, fostering a sense of community and common purpose. 4. Encourage Empathy and Respect: The truce demonstrated the significance of empathy and respect in promoting peaceful interactions. Leaders can cultivate these qualities by emphasizing the importance of understanding different perspectives and treating others with dignity and respect. 5. Boldly Challenge Norms: The soldiers who participated in the truce defied the established orders and norms, highlighting the potential for positive change when individuals challenge the status quo. Leaders should encourage everyone in their organizations to think differently and think big. Wrapping Up Even in today's world, the lessons from the Christmas Truce of 1914 remain pertinent. Individuals, regardless of their political beliefs and ideologies, will unite with their families to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who symbolizes peace and salvation. It is a day when we commit ourselves to acts of generosity and spreading kindness to those around us. Afterward, instead of going back to our organizational trenches and shooting at each other verbally from within our siloed walls, we should stay in the “no man’s land” of compromise and conciliation and continue to find solutions to common problems. Like the soldiers in the Christmas Truce, we should make the spirit of goodwill at Christmas last more than one day. By consistently prioritizing and nurturing these elements year-round, organizations can create a culture that fosters a strong sense of belonging, ultimately leading to increased engagement, productivity, and overall organizational success. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Thank you for your continued support and I wish you all the best for the coming new year. About the Author Rich Baron is the Global Director of Coaching Projects for John Mattone Global and holds the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Rich co-hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast that FeedSpot acknowledges as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on evaluating numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 70 countries and 750 cities across the globe.
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