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Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
Rich Baron • January 12, 2024
As a leader, it’s especially important that you find a way to overcome such beliefs
Many of us struggle with limiting beliefs and do not realize it until someone brings it to our attention. Once we notice them, it’s important we face them — limiting beliefs narrow your scope of vision for the life you have the potential to lead. They may sound something like, “I’m not cut out for that promotion,” or, “I’m definitely not talented enough to accomplish that.” Your thoughts might sound different depending on the area you’re struggling with, but at the end of the day, the overarching message of limiting beliefs is the same: I’m not good enough to accomplish my goal.
Limiting beliefs make it near impossible to try something spontaneous or something "big" without a negative voice in your head saying something like, "Hold on there, Not so fast!"
How many times have we told ourselves these following statements:
- I can't do that
- I shouldn't apply for that job because I am not good enough
- I tried once and it didn't work
- I am just not smart enough
- I didn't go to a blue-chip school
- It's too late to pursue my dreams
- Those people are better than me
- My boss told me I shouldn't try because I am not good enough
- I am not a great leader
Do any of these sound familiar? These sentences come from a fixed mindset—with all the conviction of beliefs that someone may have been holding on to since they were in their youth.
Where Do Limiting Beliefs Start
Many of our limiting beliefs come from experiences that are often laced with shame, embarrassment, or fear. Once we "decide" we are not good at something, we might also decide we are not good at anything related such as sports, art, leading others, the list goes on.
More often than not, this is the case — a huge limiting belief can be formed in a moment, or through several small moments that culminate into a belief you carry throughout adulthood. For example, a high school teacher may have given bad feedback on a writing project and then told them to focus their energy on other subjects.
As an executive coach, I often run into this problem with clients who have at one time or another in their career been put down on a project, or been told their idea was frivolous. In hindsight, it might be easy to brush off such a thing, but if you never take the time to discover and challenge the root of the belief, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to be free of it.
As a leader, you must find a way to overcome such beliefs — an important part of being an effective leader is seeing the unlimited potential in your employees, and how can you do that if you cannot see your own potential?
Changing Perspectives – Getting a Different Point of View
Getting stuck in a limiting belief can happen because we are stuck in the way we view that limiting belief, which then limits our thinking and actions (a fixed mindset). That is to say, we are not fully aware of our limiting beliefs. We see that limiting beliefs restrict our ability to see ourselves honestly and objectively. We tell ourselves, that’s just the way it is or how I am. Often, we lose our ability to be objective and see ourselves separate from our limiting beliefs. We falsely believe that we and the limiting belief are the same.
Stated another way, we create limiting beliefs in such a way that the limiting belief defines and restricts our resourcefulness. Those beliefs limit our ingenuity, curtail our power to act, and even our ability to deal with our limiting beliefs. When we require more power and determination – grit (perseverance and diligence) – those are the very traits we believe we don’t have enough of, which then keeps us from making the desired change. With these self-limiting actions, we then justify not taking effective action, i.e., exercising enough faith to overcome the limiting belief. Another way to view this is that we have inadvertently wired our brains so that it is hard, maybe very difficult, to see ourselves and this limiting belief in any other way, whether intellectual, emotional, or physical. The result is that we innocently victimize ourselves with this limiting belief allowing it to control us rather than us being in control.
First Things First
The first step in overcoming limiting beliefs is recognizing and acknowledging them. Your first instinct might be to push down on them as they arise, but this will not stop them from occurring again and again. Once you take the time to recognize and acknowledge that limiting belief, you can begin the journey to overcoming it.
The next step is to look for the root of the limiting belief. For example, let’s imagine the marketing team asks an executive for their input on a new campaign they’re putting together for the company. The executive immediately responds, “Oh, I won’t be able to help. I’m not creative at all.”
However, due to the nature of some of our more inhibiting limiting beliefs, shaking them off is not a one-step process. Some of these negative thoughts are so deeply ingrained, that they feel impossible to overcome. In fact, we might be really resistant to changing this part of our identity.
Some of our limiting beliefs might also be part of our core beliefs.
If your belief is rooted in an anecdotal story that is 20 years old, if it's a barrier to the next step you'd like to take, or if it's something that just seems pretty scary, try to uproot it.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Is my limiting belief closer to fact or closer to an excuse?
- Is my limited belief rooted in fear, or specifically, fear of rejection?
- Did I decide on my own limiting belief or did someone else assign it?
- Would my life be better without this limiting belief? Imagine how.
- What are new beliefs that I can replace my most limiting beliefs with? How would that feel?
Wrapping Up
We all have limiting beliefs of one kind or another. Some we see, and with others, we seem to be blind. For example, has a spouse, family member, or close friend told you something about yourself that surprised you or you found hard to believe, something that might be considered a negative trait? Perhaps that you should be more patient, less of a know-it-all, more confident, less critical of others, less complaining or blaming, less demanding, or not so hard on yourself. Or was it something else?
The point is that none of us are perfect. We all have work to do. However, in order to change, you must replace your limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs. This is easier to do when you’ve discovered the root of the problem and can come up with appropriate counterbeliefs.
Remember the example, once that executive discovers the root of their problem, it will be easier for them to say, “Well, no — actually, I have creative ideas all the time. The last time I led a campaign, I knocked it out of the park. I can do this.”
If you want to learn more about limiting beliefs and how executive coaching can help you, contact me and let's talk.
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About the Authors
Rich Baron and Maikel Bailey hold the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach. With a wealth of combined expertise spanning over 50 years, they excel in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Together, they host "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 60 countries and 550 cities across the globe.
The First World War, occurring from 1914 to 1918, brought unprecedented destruction and violence. The impact of the First World War, in particular, forever transformed the nature of war. This conflict witnessed the deliberate targeting of civilians, the widespread use of chemical weapons, and the introduction of mechanized warfare on a large scale. The death toll reached a staggering 22 million people, with some accounts putting the toll closer to 37 million. However, amidst the chaos and brutality of the First World War, a brief and remarkable moment of peace unfolded on Christmas Day in 1914. It Will Be Over by Christmas Many of the 60 million soldiers sent to fight in the First World War were told that the war would be over by Christmas—a promise that turned out to be yet another falsehood in a conflict plagued with deception and misinformation. After war was declared in July 1914, it became clear by Christmas of that year that there was no end in sight. The Western Front was dotted with trenches, where millions of soldiers were packed together, enduring freezing conditions. Many of these soldiers were astonishingly close to their enemies, with the British and German trenches sometimes separated by a mere 30 meters. According to Daniel Coyle in his best-selling book “The Culture Code”, soldiers on both sides, because of proximity to each other, started noticing shared patterns of behavior and routines of cooking, re-supply, and troop rotations. Deepening the connection was the realization that both sides were enduring the same terror and stress of harsh conditions. On the late hours of Christmas Eve, German troops started opening gifts that they had received from home, including Christmas trees adorned with candles. The soldiers lit their lanterns and placed them along the edges of their trenches, creating a warm and festive atmosphere. As the candles flickered, the sound of carol singing resonated through the air. A Personal Account Bruce Bairnsfather, a British machine gunner who would later become a well-known cartoonist, vividly described the scene in his memoirs. Like his fellow infantrymen from the 1st Battalion of the Royal Warwickshire Regiment, Bairnsfather spent Christmas Eve shivering in the muddy trenches, desperately trying to keep warm. Having fought against the Germans for the past few months, he found himself in the Bois de Ploegsteert region of Belgium. In this unforgiving environment, Bairnsfather, cramped in a trench only three feet deep and three feet wide, faced constant sleeplessness and fear. His days and nights were filled with the repetitive cycle of anxiety, surviving on stale biscuits and cigarettes too damp to light. At about 10 p.m., Bairnsfather noticed a noise. “I listened,” he recalled. The Germans were singing carols, as it was Christmas Eve. The British soldiers in the trenches joined in by singing back. Amid this peaceful moment, a surprising occurrence unfolded. Bairnsfather and his comrades heard a bewildered shouting from the German side, causing them to pause and listen intently. The voice belonged to an enemy soldier who spoke English with a distinct German accent, calling out, "Come over here." In a remarkable turn of events, the British and French troops, inspired by the Germans, also participated in the Christmas truce. Fear and suspicion were set aside as soldiers began to exchange greetings and well-wishes between the trenches. Offers for a temporary ceasefire were communicated and accepted. With the dawn of Christmas morning, soldiers cautiously stepped out into no man's land. They greeted one another and engaged in an awe-inspiring display of humanity. Messages and gifts were shared as soldiers from opposing sides momentarily set aside their enmity. In some areas, caps and jackets were repurposed as goalposts, leading to impromptu and joyful football matches. It is even said that the Germans emerged victorious in one of these games with a final score of 3-2. Another British soldier, named John Ferguson, recalled it this way: “Here we were laughing and chatting to men whom only a few hours before we were trying to kill!” The temporary cessation of fighting continued in certain areas until the arrival of the New Year, but ultimately, the pause proved to be brief and the peace was short-lived. Although there were several other instances of similar truces during the war, none were as widespread or significant as the Christmas truce of 1914. Disapproval from Senior Leaders As expected, certain high-ranking officers on both sides viewed the Christmas Truce with disapproval. They issued orders explicitly forbidding any association with the enemy and warned of potential punishments for those who disobeyed, even execution for cowardice by firing squad for those who attempted to start another truce. However, the soldiers, who were already weary from the war (unaware of the years of continued fighting ahead), chose to take matters into their own hands. They defied the orders and acted independently to establish moments of peace, albeit temporary, amidst the turmoil of war. In an alternate account, it is reported that a German soldier named Adolf Hitler reprimanded his comrades during the Christmas Truce, expressing his disapproval by stating, "Such a thing should not happen in wartime. Have you no German sense of honor left?" Hitler, who was 25 years old at the time, conveyed his disdain for the temporary ceasefire. What Can We Learn as Leaders If enemies on the battle lines can create a culture of safety, respect, and belonging even during war, it suggests that similar conditions can be replicated within organizations. And indeed, there are ways to achieve this. According to Coyle, organizations that foster a strong sense of belonging can address the following questions to ensure a positive response from employees: 1. Are we connected? - Encourage open communication and collaboration among team members. - Foster a sense of unity and shared purpose. 2. Do we share a future? - Clearly, and often, communicate the organization's vision, mission, and goals. - Involve employees in decision-making processes to create a sense of ownership and shared commitment. 3. Are we safe? - Promote a culture of psychological safety where employees completely trust that the organization is a safe place to give 100% while expressing their opinions and taking risks. - Establish policies and practices that prioritize employee well-being and physical safety. To ensure a resounding "YES" to these questions, it is crucial to clearly and consistently communicate the organization's vision, mission, and goals. This can be achieved by: Communicate the purpose: An effective approach to communicate your organization's purpose is by using concise messaging throughout. Avoid using overly complex statements that potential employees may struggle to understand or feel apprehensive about living up to. Articulating the vision: Communicate the long-term aspirations and purpose of the organization. This overarching vision should inspire and provide a sense of direction for all employees. And that they are a crucial part of achieving the vision. Define the mission: Clearly define the organization's mission statement, which outlines its core purpose, main activities, and the value it delivers to its stakeholders. Regularly reinforce this mission to remind employees of the organization's primary focus. My Key Takeaways The Christmas Truce offers valuable lessons about leadership and culture that can be applied in various contexts. Although this event took place over 100 years ago, the lessons we must learn from those brave soldiers are still relevant today. So here are a few of my thoughts and key takeaways: 1. Leaders Set the Tone: The temporary ceasefire during the Christmas Truce was driven by individual soldiers who took the initiative to establish peace. This highlights the importance of leaders setting the right tone and creating an environment that encourages positive actions and behaviors. 2. Humanize the "Enemy": The soldiers involved in the truce showed empathy and compassion towards their supposed enemies. This serves as a powerful reminder that seeing the humanity in others, even in challenging circumstances, can foster understanding and connection. 3. Facilitate Connection and Communication: The Christmas Truce exemplified the power of connection and communication across divides. Leaders should create opportunities for open dialogue, collaboration, and relationship building, fostering a sense of community and common purpose. 4. Encourage Empathy and Respect: The truce demonstrated the significance of empathy and respect in promoting peaceful interactions. Leaders can cultivate these qualities by emphasizing the importance of understanding different perspectives and treating others with dignity and respect. 5. Boldly Challenge Norms: The soldiers who participated in the truce defied the established orders and norms, highlighting the potential for positive change when individuals challenge the status quo. Leaders should encourage everyone in their organizations to think differently and think big. Wrapping Up Even in today's world, the lessons from the Christmas Truce of 1914 remain pertinent. Individuals, regardless of their political beliefs and ideologies, will unite with their families to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who symbolizes peace and salvation. It is a day when we commit ourselves to acts of generosity and spreading kindness to those around us. Afterward, instead of going back to our organizational trenches and shooting at each other verbally from within our siloed walls, we should stay in the “no man’s land” of compromise and conciliation and continue to find solutions to common problems. Like the soldiers in the Christmas Truce, we should make the spirit of goodwill at Christmas last more than one day. By consistently prioritizing and nurturing these elements year-round, organizations can create a culture that fosters a strong sense of belonging, ultimately leading to increased engagement, productivity, and overall organizational success. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Thank you for your continued support and I wish you all the best for the coming new year. About the Author Rich Baron is the Global Director of Coaching Projects for John Mattone Global and holds the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Rich co-hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast that FeedSpot acknowledges as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on evaluating numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 70 countries and 750 cities across the globe.
If the years since the pandemic are any indication of what we can expect in this ever-changing business world, leadership needs to be stronger than ever. With rapid changes in business worldwide, the leadership skills we need are changing. Strong, versatile leaders are needed to face the challenges we will inevitably see - leaders who can adapt, strategize, and motivate their teams through complex situations. However, studies show that organizations and leaders alike are far from prepared to combat these challenges. What Do The Studies Show According to the Bersin by Deloitte report High-Impact Leadership Development , organizations with stronger “leadership maturity” are 11 times more likely to have a high number of leaders who can build talent for competitive advantage. And they’re 7 times more likely to have a high number of leaders who can inspire people to follow them. Unfortunately, the report also found that capable leadership talent is very rare. Only 60% of leaders in organizations show commercial acumen and business judgment; 48% are seen as driving change and innovation; and only 44% build talent for competitive advantage. Regarding rare leadership talent, in a study conducted by Kaiser Leadership Solutions , using a 360-degree instrument called the Leadership Versatility Index, they assessed over 24,000 senior managers from a variety of industries around the world. The results showed that less than 10% of the leaders in this study had the versatility and timing to be effective leaders. That means that more than 21,000 of the leaders studied do not have the versatility and timing to be truly effective in reading and responding to change with a wide repertoire of complementary skills and behaviors. Despite the studies that show that leadership skills and development are lacking, there has been a disturbing trend in organizations cutting L&D budgets and individual leaders putting the brakes on their own development. Or worse yet, ignoring the importance of leadership development altogether. A Short-Sighted Approach This lack of investment in leadership development is a short-sighted approach that ultimately hurts both the individual leaders and the organization. Effective leadership is crucial for the success of any organization, as leaders set the tone for the rest of the team and drive the company toward its goals. Additionally, in today's rapidly changing business landscape, it is more important than ever for leaders to be adaptable, agile, and able to navigate uncertainty and change. Investing in leadership development is key to ensuring that leaders have the skills and knowledge needed to thrive in this environment. Organizations must prioritize leadership development and allocate the necessary resources to support the growth and success of their leaders. By investing in leadership development, organizations can create a culture of continuous learning and improvement, drive innovation and growth, and ultimately, achieve sustainable success in the long run. Without ongoing development and training, leaders can stagnate in their skills and become less effective in their roles. This can lead to decreased employee engagement, lower productivity, and ultimately, a negative impact on the bottom line. Hitting the Pause Button Simply put, businesses and leaders are falling behind in preparing for the upcoming business challenges they will certainly face. This fact was shown in another leadership development survey of almost 18,000 human resource professionals and business leaders from around the world. The findings showed that 83% believe it is critical to the success of their organizations to develop leaders at all levels. Despite this, less than 5% of businesses have integrated leadership development at all levels. According to the Global Leadership Forecast 2021, “fewer than half of leaders feel they are effective in leadership skills that will be most critical for future success. This means that strong, versatile leaders are not being developed and prepared for future business challenges. As an executive coach, the most disturbing trend that I have seen in organizations, and individual leaders alike, is pumping the brakes on leadership development. Many of the excuses I have heard are that the L&D budget was cut, or we plan on revisiting leadership training next year, or my personal favorites, we are too busy to focus on that right now, or we simply don't have the time. With all the issues in poor employee retention, lack of leadership pipelines, poor talent selection, toxic bosses, and failing organizational culture (which is a direct result of poor leadership), it is no wonder you don't have the time. More than likely your time is now being spent chasing the tiger by the tail, putting out fires, and trying to keep your head above water. So, a quick question, do you think your excuses will help solve the problems? Or perhaps employing the age-old wisdom that if we just ignore it, it will go away. The trend of cutting L&D budgets was a concern even before 2024. In February 2023, we featured an episode on our podcast, Mainline Executive Coaching ACT, entitled, "Dear Employees, Your Budget Has Been Cut." It has been downloaded and listened to in over 70 countries and 750 cities worldwide and is still our top downloaded episode with continued daily downloads to this date. This goes to show that this is not just a concern for organizations in the United States, but globally as well. Quite frankly, this is an urgent situation that needs to change. Versatility Will Be The Key The need for leadership development is greater than ever. Over the past three years, business dynamics have shifted so dramatically, that the moment to maximize the benefits of strong and equipped leaders is now. Versatility in leadership skills is the master capability for leading in a VUCA world — that is, one characterized by volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. Versatility is, "the ability to read and respond to change with a wide repertoire of complementary skills and behaviors." For instance, some circumstances call for leaders to take charge, force difficult issues, and make tough decisions, while others require leaders to enable, support, and include people. Similarly, organizations sometimes need leaders to focus on their future strategic direction and at other times to focus on day-to-day operations and execution. Versatile leaders can seamlessly move between opposing behaviors. They can step up and make a call just as easily as they can bring people together to make group decisions. They can read the room and adjust their behavior accordingly, from asking questions and listening with an open mind to driving the team to achieve success. They can also envision change in big-picture terms and focus on the tactical details of implementing change. Versatile leaders can read the business, from playing out the chessboard five moves ahead to making the next move swiftly and with precision. Focusing on the Future It is time to stop pausing or ignoring leadership development altogether, or worse, simply putting someone in a leadership role because they are strong individual contributors in their jobs. The ripple effects of poor leadership have resulted in skyrocketing turnover rates, poor customer retention, disengaged employees, and high costs associated with replacing the employees who left. To be successful and competitive in the future, developing versatile, strong leaders is imperative. Organizations that value leadership development with a focus on building a strong leadership pipeline full of well-trained, versatile leaders will inevitably see greater innovation, stronger financial performance, highly engaged employees, and strong employee retention. Going forward, organizations and individuals alike need to engage or reengage in leadership development. However, do not make the mistake of bringing back leadership training that the company invested in 10 years ago. Or worse yet, relying on someone in the organization who participated in those programs in the past to take on the task of leadership development today. The days of marathon seminars focused on a particular leadership skill are in the past. Quite frankly, they did not work then, and certainly will not work now. A Training Evolution Leadership training has evolved and executive coaching is the sturdy bridge that connects individual leadership effectiveness with outstanding organizational performance . It can help organizations attract and retain exceptional leaders and help executive teams to improve their performance. In addition, online coaching platforms that feature ongoing, bite-sized, dynamic, and hybrid training sessions with accompanying implementation tools coupled with one-on-one coaching have proved to be very effective. Intelligent Leadership Online Academy (ILOA) which was created during the pandemic by the world's top executive coach, John Mattone is one such platform that is trusted and respected by the top executives and technologists at some of the world's top companies. Wrapping Up Today's leaders need more proficiency than ever before. No one knows what our disruptive world will throw at leaders next. However, if the past three years are any indication of what lies ahead, organizations and individuals must be prepared to face those challenges. Those organizations with strong, versatile leaders who possess a wide and balanced repertoire of complementary competencies, skills, and behaviors, combined with the wisdom to know which one to use in a given situation, are likely to be most effective at leading their people, teams, and organizations through the turbulence. And we know that this meta-competency — versatility — can be learned, coached, and developed. Reach out to me here to find out more about executive coaching, and ILOA. Or schedule time with me here for a discussion on how your future and the future of your organization can look. About the Author Rich Baron holds the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach at John Mattone Global. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Together with his coaching partner, Maikel Bailey, Rich hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023, and again in 2024 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 60 countries and 550 cities across the globe.
