Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
Rich Baron • January 12, 2024
As a leader, it’s especially important that you find a way to overcome such beliefs
Many of us struggle with limiting beliefs and do not realize it until someone brings it to our attention. Once we notice them, it’s important we face them — limiting beliefs narrow your scope of vision for the life you have the potential to lead. They may sound something like, “I’m not cut out for that promotion,” or, “I’m definitely not talented enough to accomplish that.” Your thoughts might sound different depending on the area you’re struggling with, but at the end of the day, the overarching message of limiting beliefs is the same: I’m not good enough to accomplish my goal.
Limiting beliefs make it near impossible to try something spontaneous or something "big" without a negative voice in your head saying something like, "Hold on there, Not so fast!"
How many times have we told ourselves these following statements:
- I can't do that
- I shouldn't apply for that job because I am not good enough
- I tried once and it didn't work
- I am just not smart enough
- I didn't go to a blue-chip school
- It's too late to pursue my dreams
- Those people are better than me
- My boss told me I shouldn't try because I am not good enough
- I am not a great leader
Do any of these sound familiar? These sentences come from a fixed mindset—with all the conviction of beliefs that someone may have been holding on to since they were in their youth.
Where Do Limiting Beliefs Start
Many of our limiting beliefs come from experiences that are often laced with shame, embarrassment, or fear. Once we "decide" we are not good at something, we might also decide we are not good at anything related such as sports, art, leading others, the list goes on.
More often than not, this is the case — a huge limiting belief can be formed in a moment, or through several small moments that culminate into a belief you carry throughout adulthood. For example, a high school teacher may have given bad feedback on a writing project and then told them to focus their energy on other subjects.
As an executive coach, I often run into this problem with clients who have at one time or another in their career been put down on a project, or been told their idea was frivolous. In hindsight, it might be easy to brush off such a thing, but if you never take the time to discover and challenge the root of the belief, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to be free of it.
As a leader, you must find a way to overcome such beliefs — an important part of being an effective leader is seeing the unlimited potential in your employees, and how can you do that if you cannot see your own potential?
Changing Perspectives – Getting a Different Point of View
Getting stuck in a limiting belief can happen because we are stuck in the way we view that limiting belief, which then limits our thinking and actions (a fixed mindset). That is to say, we are not fully aware of our limiting beliefs. We see that limiting beliefs restrict our ability to see ourselves honestly and objectively. We tell ourselves, that’s just the way it is or how I am. Often, we lose our ability to be objective and see ourselves separate from our limiting beliefs. We falsely believe that we and the limiting belief are the same.
Stated another way, we create limiting beliefs in such a way that the limiting belief defines and restricts our resourcefulness. Those beliefs limit our ingenuity, curtail our power to act, and even our ability to deal with our limiting beliefs. When we require more power and determination – grit (perseverance and diligence) – those are the very traits we believe we don’t have enough of, which then keeps us from making the desired change. With these self-limiting actions, we then justify not taking effective action, i.e., exercising enough faith to overcome the limiting belief. Another way to view this is that we have inadvertently wired our brains so that it is hard, maybe very difficult, to see ourselves and this limiting belief in any other way, whether intellectual, emotional, or physical. The result is that we innocently victimize ourselves with this limiting belief allowing it to control us rather than us being in control.
First Things First
The first step in overcoming limiting beliefs is recognizing and acknowledging them. Your first instinct might be to push down on them as they arise, but this will not stop them from occurring again and again. Once you take the time to recognize and acknowledge that limiting belief, you can begin the journey to overcoming it.
The next step is to look for the root of the limiting belief. For example, let’s imagine the marketing team asks an executive for their input on a new campaign they’re putting together for the company. The executive immediately responds, “Oh, I won’t be able to help. I’m not creative at all.”
However, due to the nature of some of our more inhibiting limiting beliefs, shaking them off is not a one-step process. Some of these negative thoughts are so deeply ingrained, that they feel impossible to overcome. In fact, we might be really resistant to changing this part of our identity.
Some of our limiting beliefs might also be part of our core beliefs.
If your belief is rooted in an anecdotal story that is 20 years old, if it's a barrier to the next step you'd like to take, or if it's something that just seems pretty scary, try to uproot it.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Is my limiting belief closer to fact or closer to an excuse?
- Is my limited belief rooted in fear, or specifically, fear of rejection?
- Did I decide on my own limiting belief or did someone else assign it?
- Would my life be better without this limiting belief? Imagine how.
- What are new beliefs that I can replace my most limiting beliefs with? How would that feel?
Wrapping Up
We all have limiting beliefs of one kind or another. Some we see, and with others, we seem to be blind. For example, has a spouse, family member, or close friend told you something about yourself that surprised you or you found hard to believe, something that might be considered a negative trait? Perhaps that you should be more patient, less of a know-it-all, more confident, less critical of others, less complaining or blaming, less demanding, or not so hard on yourself. Or was it something else?
The point is that none of us are perfect. We all have work to do. However, in order to change, you must replace your limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs. This is easier to do when you’ve discovered the root of the problem and can come up with appropriate counterbeliefs.
Remember the example, once that executive discovers the root of their problem, it will be easier for them to say, “Well, no — actually, I have creative ideas all the time. The last time I led a campaign, I knocked it out of the park. I can do this.”
If you want to learn more about limiting beliefs and how executive coaching can help you, contact me and let's talk.
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About the Authors
Rich Baron and Maikel Bailey hold the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach. With a wealth of combined expertise spanning over 50 years, they excel in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Together, they host "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 60 countries and 550 cities across the globe.
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