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Lonliness in Leadership
Rich Baron • January 4, 2023
Being a Leader does not mean you must be Lonely
We often hear the phrase; it is lonely at the top. No doubt being in a leadership position can become a lonely place. Harvard Business Review reported that half of all CEOs report that loneliness is indeed a problem and at times, has hurt their overall performance. Today, if you google, “loneliness in leadership,” you will get more than 12 million results. We are not alone in our assumptions that there is an issue with feeling alone at the top. The feelings of loneliness appear as we climb higher up the ladder in our careers.
Leaders are at unique risk for loneliness. Having to make the decisions that come from being in a senior leadership position can make one feel as if they are indeed alone at times. The added challenges of leading an organization can compound these feelings of loneliness and those who understand this unique burden, are all too often consumed with their leadership journey to offer substantial perspective.
These feelings of loneliness can cross over into our personal and family lives making it difficult to compartmentalize the office from our homes. In addition, loneliness if left unchecked, can create higher levels of stress which can impede sleep, affect our ability to think rationally, and augment depression and anxiety.
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines lonely as the following:
• Being without company.
• Cut off from others.
• Not frequented by human beings.
• Sad from being alone.
• Producing a feeling of desolation or bleakness.
It takes a lot of grit, courage, and determination to be a leader and ascend the corporate ladder. However, based on the definition of being lonely, and the accounts of so many who have experienced this problem, it raises a simple question - who in their right mind would ever want to be in a senior leadership position? The simple fact is that loneliness in leadership does not have to be the norm. So, what can be done to help alleviate this problem?
Build Meaningful Relationships in your Organization
Great leaders in any organization are committed to building meaningful relationships and commit to being more connected every day with the people they work with. These same leaders have a mindset that they are part of a bigger picture regardless of the title that is on the outside of the office door. Make a conscious effort every day to be altruistic and surround yourself with people you trust and can be connected with.
Be Present
One of the traits of great leadership is being in tune with how our actions impact those around us. So often we hang up the “Do Not Disturb” sign simply by not being present and in touch with the people around us. It can be through a lack of interaction or working behind closed doors. Either way, it will push those you need the most in your organization away. Being aware of your corporate footprint and how your actions impact those around us will go a long way in alleviating the feelings of being alone. Simply put, leaders do not have the luxury of not being aware of their interconnectedness.
Be Transparent
Being transparent in the workplace means that there is effective, open communication throughout the organization. A transparent and accountable leader is someone that employees look up to. These leaders gain employee loyalty and trust and create a culture of inclusion, engagement, and open collaboration. The benefits of transparent leadership are plenty, including eliminating loneliness.
Avoid the Overconfidence Effect
Often as a leader’s power grows, real or perceived, they tend to become overconfident in their abilities. This is called the “Overconfidence Effect.” This is one of the most precarious traps to fall into as a leader. This false sense of confidence can lead to ineffective listening, assumptions, misunderstandings, and psychological blind spots. It results in employees feeling that there is a lack of transparency which erodes their trust in you as a leader.
It is a proven statistic that overconfidence in leadership results in pushing those away that you need the most in running your organization. This in turn results in those feelings of loneliness when tough decisions need to be made and there is no one to turn to.
The Vulnerability Decision
Great leaders surround themselves with experts in their fields and readily seek advice, counsel, and open collaboration. These same leaders realize that they may not the smartest, wisest person at the table. The decision to be vulnerable does not mean you are a weak leader. It takes a great deal of courage in choosing to be vulnerable. The vulnerability decision is the key to unlocking the potential to become a great leader, and once again, ending the loneliness factor. Being a vulnerable, humble leader will open doors to opportunities never thought possible for yourself and your organization.
In Conclusion
The notion that loneliness in leadership comes with the territory must be changed. Being vulnerable, humble, a good example, and transparent will increase the power of your organization and decrease the potential of loneliness in leadership. Law #42 of the 50 laws of intelligent leadership states that “Management is not a matter of controlling people or processes to accomplish a goal. Leadership is about influencing, motivating, and enabling people.” However, if you are from the demand-and-control school of management, you are in for a rude awakening when it comes to finding those people who are willing to stand by your side through those tough times. In short, plan on being lonely.
Rich Baron is a Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach with over 25 years of operational management and executive-level leadership experience. Along with his coaching partner, Maikel Bailey, they bring over 50 years of executive coaching and leadership experience to the table.
If the years since the pandemic are any indication of what we can expect in this ever-changing business world, leadership needs to be stronger than ever. With rapid changes in business worldwide, the leadership skills we need are changing. Strong, versatile leaders are needed to face the challenges we will inevitably see - leaders who can adapt, strategize, and motivate their teams through complex situations. However, studies show that organizations and leaders alike are far from prepared to combat these challenges. What Do The Studies Show According to the Bersin by Deloitte report High-Impact Leadership Development , organizations with stronger “leadership maturity” are 11 times more likely to have a high number of leaders who can build talent for competitive advantage. And they’re 7 times more likely to have a high number of leaders who can inspire people to follow them. Unfortunately, the report also found that capable leadership talent is very rare. Only 60% of leaders in organizations show commercial acumen and business judgment; 48% are seen as driving change and innovation; and only 44% build talent for competitive advantage. Regarding rare leadership talent, in a study conducted by Kaiser Leadership Solutions , using a 360-degree instrument called the Leadership Versatility Index, they assessed over 24,000 senior managers from a variety of industries around the world. The results showed that less than 10% of the leaders in this study had the versatility and timing to be effective leaders. That means that more than 21,000 of the leaders studied do not have the versatility and timing to be truly effective in reading and responding to change with a wide repertoire of complementary skills and behaviors. Despite the studies that show that leadership skills and development are lacking, there has been a disturbing trend in organizations cutting L&D budgets and individual leaders putting the brakes on their own development. Or worse yet, ignoring the importance of leadership development altogether. A Short-Sighted Approach This lack of investment in leadership development is a short-sighted approach that ultimately hurts both the individual leaders and the organization. Effective leadership is crucial for the success of any organization, as leaders set the tone for the rest of the team and drive the company toward its goals. Additionally, in today's rapidly changing business landscape, it is more important than ever for leaders to be adaptable, agile, and able to navigate uncertainty and change. Investing in leadership development is key to ensuring that leaders have the skills and knowledge needed to thrive in this environment. Organizations must prioritize leadership development and allocate the necessary resources to support the growth and success of their leaders. By investing in leadership development, organizations can create a culture of continuous learning and improvement, drive innovation and growth, and ultimately, achieve sustainable success in the long run. Without ongoing development and training, leaders can stagnate in their skills and become less effective in their roles. This can lead to decreased employee engagement, lower productivity, and ultimately, a negative impact on the bottom line. Hitting the Pause Button Simply put, businesses and leaders are falling behind in preparing for the upcoming business challenges they will certainly face. This fact was shown in another leadership development survey of almost 18,000 human resource professionals and business leaders from around the world. The findings showed that 83% believe it is critical to the success of their organizations to develop leaders at all levels. Despite this, less than 5% of businesses have integrated leadership development at all levels. According to the Global Leadership Forecast 2021, “fewer than half of leaders feel they are effective in leadership skills that will be most critical for future success. This means that strong, versatile leaders are not being developed and prepared for future business challenges. As an executive coach, the most disturbing trend that I have seen in organizations, and individual leaders alike, is pumping the brakes on leadership development. Many of the excuses I have heard are that the L&D budget was cut, or we plan on revisiting leadership training next year, or my personal favorites, we are too busy to focus on that right now, or we simply don't have the time. With all the issues in poor employee retention, lack of leadership pipelines, poor talent selection, toxic bosses, and failing organizational culture (which is a direct result of poor leadership), it is no wonder you don't have the time. More than likely your time is now being spent chasing the tiger by the tail, putting out fires, and trying to keep your head above water. So, a quick question, do you think your excuses will help solve the problems? Or perhaps employing the age-old wisdom that if we just ignore it, it will go away. The trend of cutting L&D budgets was a concern even before 2024. In February 2023, we featured an episode on our podcast, Mainline Executive Coaching ACT, entitled, "Dear Employees, Your Budget Has Been Cut." It has been downloaded and listened to in over 70 countries and 750 cities worldwide and is still our top downloaded episode with continued daily downloads to this date. This goes to show that this is not just a concern for organizations in the United States, but globally as well. Quite frankly, this is an urgent situation that needs to change. Versatility Will Be The Key The need for leadership development is greater than ever. Over the past three years, business dynamics have shifted so dramatically, that the moment to maximize the benefits of strong and equipped leaders is now. Versatility in leadership skills is the master capability for leading in a VUCA world — that is, one characterized by volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. Versatility is, "the ability to read and respond to change with a wide repertoire of complementary skills and behaviors." For instance, some circumstances call for leaders to take charge, force difficult issues, and make tough decisions, while others require leaders to enable, support, and include people. Similarly, organizations sometimes need leaders to focus on their future strategic direction and at other times to focus on day-to-day operations and execution. Versatile leaders can seamlessly move between opposing behaviors. They can step up and make a call just as easily as they can bring people together to make group decisions. They can read the room and adjust their behavior accordingly, from asking questions and listening with an open mind to driving the team to achieve success. They can also envision change in big-picture terms and focus on the tactical details of implementing change. Versatile leaders can read the business, from playing out the chessboard five moves ahead to making the next move swiftly and with precision. Focusing on the Future It is time to stop pausing or ignoring leadership development altogether, or worse, simply putting someone in a leadership role because they are strong individual contributors in their jobs. The ripple effects of poor leadership have resulted in skyrocketing turnover rates, poor customer retention, disengaged employees, and high costs associated with replacing the employees who left. To be successful and competitive in the future, developing versatile, strong leaders is imperative. Organizations that value leadership development with a focus on building a strong leadership pipeline full of well-trained, versatile leaders will inevitably see greater innovation, stronger financial performance, highly engaged employees, and strong employee retention. Going forward, organizations and individuals alike need to engage or reengage in leadership development. However, do not make the mistake of bringing back leadership training that the company invested in 10 years ago. Or worse yet, relying on someone in the organization who participated in those programs in the past to take on the task of leadership development today. The days of marathon seminars focused on a particular leadership skill are in the past. Quite frankly, they did not work then, and certainly will not work now. A Training Evolution Leadership training has evolved and executive coaching is the sturdy bridge that connects individual leadership effectiveness with outstanding organizational performance . It can help organizations attract and retain exceptional leaders and help executive teams to improve their performance. In addition, online coaching platforms that feature ongoing, bite-sized, dynamic, and hybrid training sessions with accompanying implementation tools coupled with one-on-one coaching have proved to be very effective. Intelligent Leadership Online Academy (ILOA) which was created during the pandemic by the world's top executive coach, John Mattone is one such platform that is trusted and respected by the top executives and technologists at some of the world's top companies. Wrapping Up Today's leaders need more proficiency than ever before. No one knows what our disruptive world will throw at leaders next. However, if the past three years are any indication of what lies ahead, organizations and individuals must be prepared to face those challenges. Those organizations with strong, versatile leaders who possess a wide and balanced repertoire of complementary competencies, skills, and behaviors, combined with the wisdom to know which one to use in a given situation, are likely to be most effective at leading their people, teams, and organizations through the turbulence. And we know that this meta-competency — versatility — can be learned, coached, and developed. Reach out to me here to find out more about executive coaching, and ILOA. Or schedule time with me here for a discussion on how your future and the future of your organization can look. About the Author Rich Baron holds the esteemed title of Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach at John Mattone Global. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Together with his coaching partner, Maikel Bailey, Rich hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023, and again in 2024 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 60 countries and 550 cities across the globe.
With Thanksgiving approaching in the United States, it’s a perfect time to reflect on the values that enrich our lives, no matter where we call home. Leadership, in particular, holds a unique power to shape our communities, organizations, and personal growth. In this blog, I want to celebrate the transformative nature of leadership, express gratitude for its impact, and honor the remarkable leaders who inspire and guide us. Here are a few ways leaders can express gratitude and show appreciation to the people who make a difference in their lives. Visionaries Who Inspire Leadership often begins with a clear vision. We are grateful for the visionary leaders who inspire us to dream big, challenge the status quo, and defy conventional wisdom. These trailblazers ignite passion and propel us toward a future that seemed unreachable before. Their visionary approach gives us hope and motivation to achieve more. Empathetic Guides Possessing empathy and understanding is a hallmark of exceptional leadership. Thanksgiving reminds us to appreciate the leaders who genuinely care about their team members' well-being. They create an environment that fosters collaboration, empathy, and open communication. These leaders go the extra mile to understand the needs of their team and provide the necessary support, enabling individuals to flourish both personally and professionally. Leading by Example Leaders play a crucial role in creating a positive and appreciative culture within their teams. By expressing gratitude, both publicly and privately, towards their employees, leaders can inspire their team members to reciprocate and appreciate one another's efforts as well. This creates a cycle of appreciation and gratitude within the team, which, in turn, creates a sense of trust and loyalty within the team. When employees feel appreciated by their leaders, they trust that their efforts are valued and recognized. This trust fosters a positive work environment where team members feel comfortable and supported. Be Thankful for Your Team As a leader, it is important to recognize and accept that you cannot be an expert at everything. No one can possess all the skills and knowledge required for every task or project. Instead, it is crucial to identify the gaps and seek out individuals who have the talent and passion to excel in those areas. When you surround yourself with talented individuals, each specializing in their respective fields, you create a dynamic team that can tackle challenges effectively and produce exceptional outcomes. Be thankful for those people on your team who bring their best every day. Their expertise and passion will bring new perspectives, innovative ideas, and a high level of proficiency to the table. Be Thankful You are a Leader Being a leader is indeed a privilege, as it allows leaders to have a direct impact on the future and success of their followers. For this reason, we must all learn to be servant leaders. By adopting a servant leadership approach, the leader takes on the responsibilities of a coach, mentor, and enabler. They guide and support their team members, helping them to develop their skills and achieve their goals. The focus is on empowering others and creating an environment where everyone can thrive. The beauty of servant leadership lies in the fact that when leaders prioritize the success of their team, they ultimately find success themselves. By investing in the growth and development of their followers, leaders cultivate a motivated and engaged team that produces outstanding results. This is something that every leader can truly be thankful for. Wrapping Up As leaders, this is a wonderful time of year to be thankful and to begin the habit of saying, "Thank You," so you can say it all year. Saying those two powerful words can mean the world to those on your team who have worked hard and deserve your admiration and sincere gratitude. The simple act of expressing your thankfulness and gratitude with these two simple words will ensure your team feels recognized and appreciated for their work. When we strive to be true servant leaders throughout the year we have the opportunity to instill worth in all those people around us. For this reason, leadership is not just a privilege to be thankful for, but a calling all leaders have the responsibility to live up to. As we celebrate this season of Thanksgiving—a time to express gratitude for the blessings in our lives—let us also extend this spirit of thankfulness to our superiors, colleagues, clients, customers, and all who support our professional journey. As Thanksgiving gives way to the rest of the holiday season, let’s strive to carry this attitude of gratitude into our daily lives, embracing it fully in our roles as leaders and managers. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who are reading this. I am truly thankful for your support and wish you all the best! About the Author Rich Baron is the Director of Culture Transformation and Certification as well as a Master Certified Intelligent Leadership Executive Coach at John Mattone Global. With a wealth of expertise spanning over 25 years, he has excelled in various realms such as cultural transformation, operational leadership, executive positions, and coaching individuals from emerging leaders to CEOs. Rich hosts "Mainline Executive Coaching ACT," a podcast acknowledged by Feedspot in 2023, and 2024 as the foremost Executive Coaching Podcast worldwide. This recognition is based on an evaluation of numerous podcasts on the internet, taking into account factors such as web traffic, social media followers, and timeliness. The podcast enjoys a substantial following in more than 70 countries and 750 cities across the globe.
